Truthfully, I never thought I had fears that I needed to face. I believed I was adventurous and not afraid of anything. If I could sky dive, cage dive with great white sharks, travel the globe, move to Saudi Arabia alone. What could I not do? What could I possibly be afraid of? A lot apparently.
If you’ve read my post about the 100 books I read, you’ll know that one of my favorite books is Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways. A self-help book from the 80’s, dedicated to helping people live a life, not controlled by fear. And 10 years later, this book still has an impact on my life. I have read it more than 4 times. And it is the book that I repetitively go back to. This definitely says a lot about the book, considering my addiction to self help.
So, after reading this book over and over again, while completing my adventurous traveling feats, I figured any possible fears I may have had, would now be long gone. Boy was I wrong. Despite this book being so amazing, and me reading it repetitively, something was missing. Action. Me actually facing my fears, and dealing with them, one by one. How did I know this was missing? I didn’t, until recently.
This whole post and idea of facing your fears, was actually inspired by a YouTube video. I was scrolling Facebook recently, and came across a woman from Pakistan sharing her inspirational, intelligent, and heart-warming story. In fact, I was so in awe of her truths and her words, that I was in tears before the 6-minute video was even over. She opened up herself, her life, and her heart, to share her story with others. And what she specifically did that resonated with me, was face her fears. Overcome them. Every single one. Little by little. One by one. Which then created in her, a sense of strength, confidence, and courage, not easily seen or found nowadays.
Now I obviously do not have a story like hers, nor would I know the exact words to appropriately relay my story, but…. I can at least face my fears like she did. One by one.
Facing Your Fears
So, as mentioned in the video, I wrote down my fears. Just like she did. And despite not thinking I would have any, I couldn’t stop writing. I wrote so much that I started to think I was afraid of everything.
Obviously I wasn’t, but I did have a lot of fears. And I noticed that all of my fears were internal, non-tangible fears. Things I cannot necessarily see or prove on the outside, but those I have to deal with on the inside. The heart. The mind. Which seems to be a common theme lately. I can accomplish, strive and do things externally as much as I want. But my inside is what really needs work.
So, without further ado, here is my list of fears.
I am afraid of:
- Making decisions
- What people think of me
- People not liking me
- Being myself
- My flaws & imperfections
- Not being good enough
- Being wrong
- Sucking at life
- My own Truth
- Not having friends
- My life not mattering
- Not working out
- Not striving or trying hard at things
- Slowing down
And I originally had more than this, but after taking some time to really pause and reflect, several were not actual fears, just thoughts I kept telling myself. They didn’t signify a real fear. Whereas those I listed above, are things I am genuinely afraid of. Things I know I don’t deal with well, or won’t deal with well. Things I think I can’t handle. Which means, one by one I need to face them. Truly. Whole-heartedly. Not just once, or sporadically. And not just for show. But for real, on a regular, consistent basis. To show myself that I am capable. I can handle anything.
What Are Your Fears?
Now it’s your turn. Watch the video. Sit down and ask yourself: what are you afraid of? What are your fears? Then create your own list. And don’t worry about what’s on it, because no one else needs to see it. But, the more you are open and honest about your fears, the more success you’ll have. Once you have your list, start working through your fears, one by one. Really push yourself to do, or feel, or experience, that which you are afraid of.
Me? My first fear is making decisions. So, I am purposely trying to make more decisions. And be more decisive. In everything. From what I eat, to how I spend my time, to what I wear. Which is not only about making more decisions, but also being okay with them.
Let me know what your fears are. How are you facing them?